Truth Serum

images (3)WOW!!!!

What has been going on lately??

Is there something in the water??

Have the planets misaligned??

Or is it just a backlash to the increasing pressure for us all to be happy positive upbeat etc.

As I mentioned in my Facebook post, in all of my 22 years of working with people I have never had to sit with so much disappointment, deceit, affairs and secrets being brought out into the open, it’s as if people are vomiting it up from the depths of their soul.

Now of course as a therapist, sitting with peoples discomfort is a big part of what I do, but that is not what I’m talking about.. What I’m talking about is that nearly every client who is in a relationship is revealing things to their partner that have previously never been revealed.

Some of these things have been kept secret for many, many, years and for some people it’s felt like a purging, a releasing of the everyday masks, a releasing from suppressing themselves their feelings for far too long.

Of course for their partners and for themselves this action even though releasing is also fraught with difficulty as both people then have to deal with what has been released, or let out, purged?? (depends on how you choose to see it).

039-truth-timeBut what I can say is that what has come from the release is truth and by truth I mean whatever that is to whomever.

Also great freedom from the consuming heavy burden of suppressing your feelings or your truth from the person that you have spent your life with or at least some years with.

Having the courage to say and speak the words can be scary but not as scary as what those suppressed words can turn into when you have held onto them for sooo long .

So take some Truth Serum or Courage and give yourself permission to speak Your Truth to your partner, and do it sooner rather than later, even do it now!!!

Ultimately you will give yourself and your partner the beginnings of a real, honest and truly authentic relationship ..

Be brave and know you have this ability in you….

Remember to always be kind to yourself

Jacqui

Seasonal Spring Cleanse


According to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), energies which manifest as seasonal changes in our external environment are also reflected within the body, and spring presents a transitional period when our internal energies rise and expand, providing movement and growth to direct us away from the conservation and respite of the previous winter months.

This expansive energy helps to bring various elements to the surface and expel some of the body’s burden of accumulated toxins and heavy metals (from air pollution, processed foods, contact with chemicals from harsh cleaning agents, hair & makeup, etc) in preparation for the bustling pursuits of summer.

Within our emotional landscape, this emerging energy of upward growth toward the sun means sentiments and issues suppressed within will also have the opportunity to be released.

With a little preparation and mindfulness, the forces of renewal and rebirth that are synonymous with the spring season can be harnessed and aligned to greatly benefit the body, mind and spirit during a spring cleanse.

In TCM, spring is related to the wood element and to the liver and gall bladder. As such, the liver is the focus of the spring cleanse. As we detoxify the liver, however, we also need to make sure that other parts of the body – especially those involved in secretion and detoxification – are well supported.

A carefully planned and gentle detoxification program can be safe and beneficial. Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine can support and nourish the organs to eliminate the waste products more efficiently and safely, while speeding up the detoxification process and providing relief from stagnated emotions at the same time.

For more information on how you can benefit from a successful spring cleanse, call Dr. Chik at Acu Healthworks on 0423 128 324.

SPRING … the season of renewal

A special blog post share from Sarah Fletcher of  Quiet Mind Meditation

 How magical it is to watch our world slowly awakening from it slumber, to witness the quickening pulse of nature, budding of new flowers and transition to blue skies and warm perfumed breezes.

Spring is the season that naturally calls us to throw open windows, clean out cupboards, wash and pack away winter woollens, and move our body and life outside where we can fully embrace the fresh air and sunshine.  

Mother Nature is calling us to release, relinquish, cleanse and open .. body and mind.
 

SPRING CLEANING MEDITATION


Mindfulness Meditation can be incorporated into our daily life simply by bringing our attention, and non-judgemental awareness, to what we are doing each moment.

Spring Cleaning is a wonderful mindfulness practice as we embrace a natural desire to shake off the hibernation of winter, and open to the freshness and lightness of the new season.  By bringing a heightened awareness to the act of dusting, polishing and putting away, we practice not only clearing our living space but also clearing our mental clutter. 
 

1.  Set aside a specific time for this practice.  Turn off all distractions (phone, television) and gather all the equipment you might need.  Make a commitment before you start to letting go of that which no longer serves you and allowing for some clear spaces.
 
2.  Start by sitting quietly in a favourite chair or outside in the warm sunshine.  Allow a few minutes of just sitting with an awareness of your breath .. watching with interest your inhalation and exhalation.   Notice where your mind is, what are you feeling or thinking about in this moment? 
 
3.  Once you decide to begin your Spring Clean mindfulness practice, commit to engaging fully with all of your actions.  Don’t rush through any activity, or attempt something half heartedly, instead fully engage with each movement of hand, body and mind .. noticing also how your breath is linked to your activities and your thoughts.
 
4.  If you find thoughts or feelings distracting you, simply notice them, see if you can observe the underlying tone of them (perhaps worry, an eagerness to finish, or a moment of joy in finding and putting away something of special significance) – name your feeling or thought and then let it pass. Notice how random thoughts can interrupt our experience and our focus, and how you have the power to let them to pass simply by returning to your anchor – which is the action of cleaning!
 
5.  When finished, pack away all your equipment and take a seat where you can survey the scene.  Enjoy the results of your labour.  Notice the space, the sparkle and the cleanliness around you.  Can you sense a similar clarity and clearness of mind? a greater sense of ease and calmness?

“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colours, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night”
Maria Rilke, Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke

Sarah Fletcher
Quiet Mind Meditation
e: info@quietmind.com.au

The difference between being aggressive and assertive

aggressive vs assertive

So as I mentioned in our last post,  I am going to talk about how we can express our anger in a way that makes the two people communicating feel okay??

Ok, so this is an area that CAN be a little bit tricky and where people become easily unsure or confused, and this is because what we are really talking about here is the difference between aggressive and assertive communication styles.

One of the main ways of achieving assertive communication is through learning and using a specific communication style such as “I messages” or “I statements”.

I messages have been around since the 1960s when they were introduced in Parent Effectiveness Training (PET).

This way of communicating has been found to be very useful as its very different to what is typically used which is “You statements” for example You did this and you did that or You make me feel etc… which is actually more of an aggressive way of communicating.

In fact something that is REALLY important to remember is the minute the word YOU comes out of your mouth the other person’s mind will shut down slightly if not completely to the rest of your conversation.
I messages are also a way of diffusing or heading off a potential conflict, for example stating what you feel has been found to be really hard to argue against because the talker is coming from their own experience and not blaming another person. Basically I messages work like this

• I feel…(insert feeling word)
• When…… (say what caused the feeling)
• I would like…. (say what you would like to happen instead).

6a00d8341c500653ef00e54f1894f28833-800wiIt’s not as easy as it sounds though and people frequently use this method incorrectly, such as saying I feel angry when YOU yell like that at me and I’m going to…..or YOU need to stop right now… there are so many variations.. So… there’s a couple of other guidelines to use as well …

Always remember to describe the other person’s behaviour in a non-blameful/judgmental way as well as how that behaviour has affected you as well as the feelings experienced about their behaviour.

As I said before when things are moving toward a potential conflict or someone has hurt you with what they have said when the person speaking, hears the listener say I feel and describe their actual feelings it is very hard to argue against that, it’s like an appeal for help from the listener.. And is a very powerful way of co-creating healing communication.

So give it a go remember when trying out something new always try it out with the least threatening/challenging person or situation e.g., the easiest person in your world.
This will ensure maximum success which then ensures a second attempt.
AND always remember …

Be Kind to yourself first….
Jacqui Christie

 

Anger is an emotion….

6c7f7698-4d29-4896-9ed1-24bc530b37e4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anger is an emotion not a behavior


For a very long time now I’ve assisted people with their anger and aggression.  

I’ve noticed over this time that people are often unsure and confused about the difference between these two areas.  

I would like to offer some clarification if I may.   

It’s important to understand that anger is an emotion and not a behavior and aggression is a behavior not an emotion. 

Hmm would you like to read that again??

Anger is an emotion and not a behavior??

Yes that’s right… If still you’re still not convinced let me ask you something, would you agree that our emotions are feelings??

So, just like the other feelings that you experience for example love, joy or peace, anger is another one of those feelings that we all experience from time to time.

And sometimes it is for good reason.


5bf1f59f-cd1e-4324-8f6c-ef0ff06ca791Now aggression on the other hand is completely different.  

Aggression is actually a behavior which is often used against or toward other people.  

Aggression is the behavior that you may refer to when you tell your friend “that……….got really angry toward me” . 

If you were to look up some of the definitions about aggression they will mention something about feelings of anger AND violent or aggressive behavior ALL in the same sentence!!  which of course adds to the confusion between the two.    


So I hope that you can now see that there is a BIG difference between behaviors and emotions, AND that it is really important to honor your feelings of anger as you would any other emotion. 

You might now be asking “How do I do that in a way that makes me and the other person feel okay  hmmm???”

For the answer to this…  stay tuned for my next blog entry. 🙂  

Be Kind to yourself….
Jacqui Christie

Life is what we make of it

LIFE_CAMERA

 LIFE  is what we make of it

As long as we are developing from the negatives that is a GRAND lesson

So true we always have another opportunity..

if things are not going to plan

Stop and take another shot!

Welcome in Spring with Empower Me’s Women’s Wisdom Sacred Circle
We have a very exciting speaker this month.
Book in and be inspired by this circle